Dippy Double Talk

by Mark Berch

The words are staring at you on paper or on the screen. But what do they really mean? Here's a handy guide.

I've always wanted to try this opening: I've never found anyone gullible enough to go along with this opening.

The plan involves some really major risks: I might lose a Supply Center.

This plan involves some fairly minor risks: You might lose a supply center.

Which ever plan you choose, let me know: I can stab you either way.

France told me over the Phone: France told me nothing of the sort.

Your letter didn't get here in time: I didn't want to do what you asked.

He's an awfully strong player: Hey, attack him, not me.

A 17-17 draw is a very satisfying conclusion: I can't figure out any way to get my hands on an 18th center.

I get only short term benefits: I get to build immediately.

You get the long term benefits: You'll build on the 12th of Never.

I'm sure your luck against Italy will change next season: I'm not going to send him your moves this time.

Let's make Tyo a demilitarized zone: I don't have the strength to attack Tyo yet. I had completely forgotten that Belgium was yours: You forgot to defend Belgium.

We can sort out the SCs later: My bargaining position will be much stronger later.

It was so obvious that I neglected to mention that: I knew you wouldn't like it.

The general gist of your letter was that...: I only skimmed your letter before pitching it.

My fleet-to-army ratio was getting unnaturally low: I need fleets to stab you.

My misorder was accidental: It was deliberate.

My misorder was deliberate: It was an accident.

I think we trust each other enough to skip the arranged standoff: I'm finally ready to attack you.

The tactic you mentioned hadn't occurred to me: I was hoping you wouldn't think of that plan.

Since you picked the tactics last season, it's my turn: It didn't matter what we did last season.

I'm sure you analyzed this very carefully, but...: I can't make heads or tails of what you wrote, so I'm going to do what I want.

I've heard that rumor too: I made up that story two weeks ago.

I don't play for ratings, I play for fun: I'll do whatever it takes to win.

Reprinted from Diplomacy World 80