| Broadcasts for Fall of 1905 in goofy |
Movement
G:2 persistent
E:2 more interesting than normal
F:0 less interesting than normal
A:1 getting a little too normal (for YOU)
I:1 a leftover point, totally undeserved
T:1 because hardly anyone else will give you one|
HEY!! I only goofed up in the first season's goofy points!!
The most recent votes were perfectly okay!! Added up to seven quite nicely!
Give me back those points! :P
Sincerely,
There has been a coup in the Turkish government since it was learned that
the ruler of antiquity had horribly poor English and was known to hunt
snipe in his spare time (also, it just got too damn annoying trying to
type messages). The new leader, John Ch'i-McCrae of Thai-British
ancestry, has but one goal in mind: the presence of a Turkish army in
London.
McCrae
It appears as though we may be able to do the St. Petersburg - Syria
next year, provided we have the appropriate fleet moves in the Fall.
McCrae
My goofy points for the Spring:
Austria: 0 (why proxy when you could be so creative)
England: 1 (bribing you to give my homesick army a boat ride)
France: 1 (why not)
Germany: 3 (for taking the Palestinians off my hands)
Italy: 1 (see Austria and France)
Russia: 1 (see England)
Observer: lim n->inf (exp (n)) (just because)
Well, I seem to ghave been coming totheend of the board in this direction.
NOMASTER!
Maybe on anotyher side maybe? If not in Syria, maybe Africa of northness?
who takeme to thereness?
maybe?
Who? WHO!!
Sincerely,
press to i
MajorDomo - Sorry about letting your A ven sit still this turn... I got your
notice about proxyFest much too late to participate in it.
Apologies...
Sincerely,
Austria: 1pt for participating in ProxyFest.
England: 2pts for what you did with all the proxies... would have been
three if you had let naf - lvp go through...
France: Definitely cute. 2pts.
Italy: 1pt for participating in ProxyFest.
Turkey: 1pt for beating me to Stp.
Now, about last turn's votes... Isn't it true that 5*1 + 1*2 = 7???
That doesn't look like messing up to me... So, I would like to have
my vote counted and the points from the master's vote restored. Please.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
broadcast to t
> The new leader, John Ch'i-McCrae of Thai-British
> ancestry, has but one goal in mind: the presence of a Turkish army in
> London.
Welcome Master McCrae. I would avoid trying to transport an army via the
Mid-Atlantic ocean. France seems to be a real anal-retentive b**th**d about
letting anyone through "his" precious waterway.
MajorDomo
Oy! MajorBleepinDomo! You don't know how important the tourism
industry is to me. Let's do Syria-Picardy next year. It's cuter than
Syria-Stp.
> Oy! MajorBleepinDomo! You don't know how important the tourism
> industry is to me. Let's do Syria-Picardy next year. It's cuter than
> Syria-Stp.
Hey! That was a private message to Turkey. How did you manage to read it???
Mr. Moderator: I demand France be thrown out of the game because somehow
he is reading private mail. He must have purloined your password and
has redirected all mail to himself!
MajorDomo
BTW: :-) :-) :-)
BTW #2: I'd love to dance the Syria-Picardy tango but I'm out of position.
Then get yourself into position Major.
btw, reading someone's mail by getting hold of their password is legal
cheating as sanctioned in the gamer's guide.
Imagine a gun to my head. The following is read in an artifical and stilted
voice ...
I have been instructed to say that France does not control me. Repeat, I
am in no way controlled by France. The fact that I made a clerical error
in the goofy points for France is merely coincidental. That fact that
I consistently give more goofy points to France is simply because he is
a better player. I am nothing more than a good acquaintance of France.
Listen, if you're going to make insinuations about our master's
character *JUST BECAUSE HE LOGGED ON FROM MY ACCOUNT* when his own
machine was down you've got another think coming. You keep going on
like that and I'll tell the Judge Administrator. Yes, MR KOVAR
himself. I know he doesn't put up with this kind of nonsense. Lokk
what he did to Justin Long. Yeah. You'll be blackballed, that's what
you'll be, BLACKBALLED.
Deutschland: I have spent much time looking for the Master here, to
no avail. You might have better luck. I would say you're welcome to
look for yourself, but I have to get my armies out of your war.
Russia: Around the world in eighty days?
England: I'm going to try to find the Beatles again. Should you
interfere with this effort, I'm afraid I'll have to declare war upon
you.
France: I'm going to try to find the Beatles again. Should you
interfere with this effort, I'm afraid I'll have to declare war upon
you.
Italy: I'm going to try to find the Beatles again. Should you
interfere with this effort, I'm afraid I'll have to declare war upon
you.
Master: I'm going to try to find the Beatles again. Should you
interfere with this effort, I'm afraid I'll have to declare war upon
you.
ObsOrvOr: I'm going to try to find the Beatles again. Should you
interfere with this effort, I'm afraid I'll have to declare war upon
you.
Austria: I'm going to try to find the Beatles again. Should you
interfere with this effort, I'm afraid I'll have to declare war upon
you.
Freddie the Vampire
David wouldn't dare blackball me; I'm one of his favorite moderators. Besides,
half the games on the judge would have to either be shut down or taken over
by David if he kicked me out. So there!
Mutter, mutter ... reagan ... observer ... xmas ... noel ... gravy ...
keynote ... chroma ... shoham ... chaos ... yule ... fitz ... claus ...
network ... wien ... santa ... winter ... cthulhu.
Ok, maybe not 1/2. But close. And it certainly feels like it at times.
Maybe I should have blackball both you and Rehbold. Yeah, that's the ticket.
MajorDomo
Is Italy revealing his identity or just impersonating somebody else?
I think either would be against EP rules, though I don't think this
game is EP, and considering the variant, I doubt anybody would care.
Turkey: I wouldlove to help you to Enlgand. Move stp - nor this
turn, and I will convoyyou to England next turn.
France: Syr - pic soundsentertaining. Now if someone would move
a fleet to eas so that I can convoy syr out ofthere...
Sincerely,
I think perhaps Italy is impersonating me.
*BLACKBALLED*
Robert... are you out there?
Sincerely,
Considering the time of day in Germany right now, I think it's
a good bet to assume Robert has gone home for the day.
:Welcome Master McCrae. I would avoid trying to transport an army via the
:Mid-Atlantic ocean. France seems to be a real anal-retentive b**th**d about
:letting anyone through "his" precious waterway.
Yeah, France. You're a real birthbed. Happy Birthday.
Rob Evers
Ooops. Sorry about that. Guess I shouldn't have listed my games. Please
ignore my last message.
MajorDomo
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Date: Mon, 28 Feb 1994 14:46:11 -0500
From: Diplomacy Adjudicator
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Diplomacy notice: goofy
Broadcast message from Observer in goofy:
:Welcome Master McCrae. I would avoid trying to transport an army via the
:Mid-Atlantic ocean. France seems to be a real anal-retentive b**th**d about
:letting anyone through "his" precious waterway.
Yeah, France. You're a real birthbed. Happy Birthday.
Rob Evers
Hmm...I thought b**th**d was beathard, as in the former GM of
the Washington Redskins. Current GM of ?can't remember.
Other possibilities:
batthood (like Batman's cowl)
barthand (only four fingers!)
beetheed (listen to the advice of vegetables)
bunthard (better not pop it up!)
bttthhhd (some sort of spitting noise)
boothdud (clothes you wear to a polling place?)
brothlid (keep the stew warm)
brithind (Ooh, that's nasty!)
beavis (heh heh heh heh heh....)
:)
Freddie
My sincere apologies to Austria for omitting several of her units. I was ill
last week and can only plead that my concentration was not what it usually
is, so that I wound up only submitting fifteen or sixteen orders last turn.
The Master can confirm that this turn I have in fact issued proxy orders for
every piece on the board.
Messing up vote totals is goofy! Extra point to the Master!
I heartily thank each of you who honored me with goofy awards this
turn (d w and s-w-e-e-e-e-p of the plumed hat!), especially the
e o
e b
p
Master, who did not allow my announcement that I have joined the
German WAR upon him to influence his selection.
We English shall now proceed to occupy WAR in order to drop it upon
the Master.
p.s. to Italy and Russia: Would you be so kind as to convoy my fleet in Lvp
out of Austria's way?? London or Belgium, I'll let you two decide.
--The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
> Germany: 3 (for taking the Palestinians off my hands)
Hey! *I* took that rap! Those were UN troops under an English commander (who
has since been committed to Bedlam). As for your stinking bribes, well, we
shall be in Ankara before your louse-y soldiers set foot in London!
--The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
Freddy the Vampire: Why dost thou leavest me out of thy list?
McCrae
Mister Italian,
Don't be so quick to report the many other games in which you are
involved or GMing. Judging from your dedication rating (yes, your last
message gave your identity away), you are familiar enough with the judge
to know that the purpose of gunboat games is to keep your identity
secret. Be more careful in the future.
PNF
(Professional Nagging Female)
Broadcast message from Turkey in goofy:
Freddy the Vampire: Why dost thou leavest me out of thy list?
McCrae
With so many enemies, I'll need a friend :)
Fred. J. Vampyre
Here comes the -hopefully final- version of the 1904 results.
The German player has convinced me that she gave a correct assignment
for fall 1904. Everything shifted a bit again, having Russia on the
7th place again.
w1904:
A E F G I R T
SC: 5 5 5 3 4 7 4
---------------------------------------
1p: 5 5 5 3 4 7 4
1.5p: 7.5 7.5 7.5 4.5 6 10.5 6
2p: 10 10 10 6 8 14 8
And now, the goofy points in 1904:
A E F G I R T
----------------------------------------------
SC 7.5 7.5 7.5 4.5 6 10.5 6
GP 18 11 25 16 16 6 16
----------------------------------------------
1902 25.5 17.5 32.5 20.5 21 20.5 21
Goofy point totals (1901-1904):
A E F G I R T
----------------------------------------------
SC 28.5 27 31.5 18 19.5 37.5 24
GP 81 61 65 86 61 38 52
----------------------------------------------
sum 107.5 88 96.5 104 80.5 75.5 76
rank 1 4 3 2 5 7 6
> From [email protected] Mon Feb 28 20:31:09 1994
> Date: Mon, 28 Feb 1994 14:31:58 -0500
> From: Diplomacy Adjudicator
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Diplomacy notice: goofy
>
> This Diplomacy Adjudicator sponsored by
> the Electronic Frontier Foundation.
>
> Any unmoderated games on this judge will be removed.
>
> Broadcast message from Germany in goofy:
>
>
> Robert... are you out there?
>
> Sincerely,
#FLAME ON
Argh. I wonder when you selfish Americans *ever* realize that there are
more than 4 time zones in the world. Time zones that were important when
none of your ancestors has set a foot on American soil. As you can see
from the above arrival time, there is a 6 hour difference between the EFF
time zone and mine (yes, mine!). I was happily watching "Einstein Jr." on
TV when you sillies had your recent broadcast burstout.
Additionally, you lazy folks sleep when I start working, and have breakfast
when my lunch is eaten already. So, watch your watch and *never* ask these
silly questions again. Otherwise you will be *blackballed* (courtesy of
France).
#FLAME OFF
> From [email protected] Mon Feb 28 20:33:25 1994
> Date: Mon, 28 Feb 1994 14:34:16 -0500
> From: Diplomacy Adjudicator
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Diplomacy notice: goofy
>
> This Diplomacy Adjudicator sponsored by
> the Electronic Frontier Foundation.
>
> Any unmoderated games on this judge will be removed.
>
> Broadcast message [from Austria] in goofy:
>
> Considering the time of day in Germany right now, I think it's
> a good bet to assume Robert has gone home for the day.
>
This won bet makes you an exception to the rule set up in my previous
posting. Probably most of you should be excluded except of course my main
enemy, i.e. the EVIL GERMAN PLAYER (EGP).
> Broadcast message from Italy in goofy:
>
> David wouldn't dare blackball me; I'm one of his favorite moderators. Besides,
> half the games on the judge would have to either be shut down or taken over
> by David if he kicked me out. So there!
>
> Mutter, mutter ... reagan ... observer ... xmas ... noel ... gravy ...
> keynote ... chroma ... shoham ... chaos ... yule ... fitz ... claus ...
> network ... wien ... santa ... winter ... cthulhu.
>
> Ok, maybe not 1/2. But close. And it certainly feels like it at times.
>
> Maybe I should have blackball both you and Rehbold. Yeah, that's the ticket.
>
> MajorDomo
Actually, the list is (sorted alphabetically):
EFF:
chaos chroma claus cthulhu dynamoG fitz gateway keynote kibo network noel
observer palmyr ptang reagan santa shoham wien winter xmas yule
AUS:
canberra hottub kangaroo koala perth potato vegemite
It seems you left some of your games out, J*** F***! And there is no
game Mutter on the EFF judge...
Of course now everybody knows who always wanted this game to be NMR, sigh.
Well, you should resign, shouldn't you? At least if setting up a false
identity is as evil as revealing your real one. However the former may be
just considered goofy...
Being amused,
Robert
> Mister Italian,
>
> Don't be so quick to report the many other games in which you are
> involved or GMing. Judging from your dedication rating (yes, your last
> message gave your identity away), you are familiar enough with the judge
> to know that the purpose of gunboat games is to keep your identity
> secret. Be more careful in the future.
No need to worry...
Gee, I think the moderator is jealous of our 4 time zones. :-)
> Well, you should resign, shouldn't you? At least if setting up a false
> identity is as evil as revealing your real one.
Well, if I'm setting up a false identity, it might as well be evil :-)
J.F., aka, MajorDomo
>#FLAME ON
>
>Argh. I wonder when you selfish Americans *ever* realize that there are
>more than 4 time zones in the world. Time zones that were important when
>none of your ancestors has set a foot on American soil. As you can see
>from the above arrival time, there is a 6 hour difference between the EFF
>time zone and mine (yes, mine!). I was happily watching "Einstein Jr." on
>TV when you sillies had your recent broadcast burstout.
>
>Additionally, you lazy folks sleep when I start working, and have breakfast
>when my lunch is eaten already. So, watch your watch and *never* ask these
>silly questions again. Otherwise you will be *blackballed* (courtesy of
>France).
>
>#FLAME OFF
I apologize. When I wrote that message, I had just finished reading
what *looked* like a message that I *thought* came from you recently.
As soon as someone (anonymously) posted that you were not likely to be
logged in at that time, I realized that the message I saw was a spoof
of you, which I accidentally read as being from you yourself. Makes
you wonder how I ever survive in grey-press allowed games, eh?
In any case, I am sorry to have offended you. Now about blackballs...
would you recommend serving them neat or on the rocks? And what's this
about flaming blackballs? Is that something like plum pudding?
*smiles* and sincere apologies,
I apologize. When I wrote that message, I had just finished reading
what *looked* like a message that I *thought* came from you recently.
As soon as someone (anonymously) posted that you were not likely to be
logged in at that time, I realized that the message I saw was a spoof
of you, which I accidentally read as being from you yourself.
Heh, heh, heh. Gotcha!
russ!a: 1gp, because yOur pOs!t!On !s gett!ng remarkably !nterest!ng...
england: 1gp, fOr Order!ng sO many prOx!es.
!taly: 1gp, fOr g!v!ng austr!a cOntrOl Of an army that was attack!ng h!m.
austr!a: 2gp, fOr us!ng that army tO cOnt!nue the attack On yOurself!
by the way, !'ll help yOu f!nd the beatles !f help me f!nd my !'s.
france: 2gp, fOr attempt!ng a cOnvOy and then !nsur!ng !ts d!srupt!On, by
v!Olat!ng a dmz that yOu made up.
turkey: Ogp, because ! ran Out Of pO!nts by the t!me ! read yOur Orders. :)
ObsOrvOr
Yo folks,
if you want to see something as goofy as the infamous StP-Syr convoy
happen in reality, watch the next move in game 'puma' on the EFF judge
which will hopefully see the Austrian army make that long tour.
Note that 'puma' is not a goofy game, but since the game is almost
won anyway Dan Percival and I decided to have a little bit fun out
of it ('puma' is of the 'Intimate' variant which has only two players
and is won when one of the opponents takes one of his opponent's home SC).
Robert
Oops, I totally forgot that since this is a gunboat game you should
not sign up to 'puma' as an observer since your address would be
broadcasted and people *might* guess that you did it due to my
last announcement.
Hmmm. Well, I will broadcast that move once it got processed for your
amusement.
Robert
I HAVE REPENTED! I HAVE CHANGED MY WAYS! THE MASTER IS OBVIOUSLY
THE SOURCE OF ALL GOODNESS, AS HE HAS HUMILIATED ME AND THEN SHOWN
FORGIVENESS! LO, HE HATH RESTORED MY GOOFY POINTS WHICH HAD BEEN
LOST!
My Wayward units shalt be recalled. I shall work for the invasion of
England by Turkey, and the merciless master-hunting dinghy Robertjack
shalt cast off its disguses and sail to the open sea! Mine armies
amongst the Palestinians shalt be Liberated, and Freed so as to Move
As They Will. They shalt be known under a new power, and that Power
shalt be Russia in a pattern after the Master's own most gracious
forgiveness. Such that Russia hath taken mine own supply centers,
Russia shalt control A SYR likewise!
Sincerely,
Do not try to weasel yourself out of this one Italy. You know as well
as I do that my army moved into Piedmont with your express permission
and with Austria's too, for the sole purpose of moving to Tyrolia.
If that is not the case, why has it taken you one full year to
complain about it, or make any move against me? Why would I park my
lone fleet in the North Atlantic if I was making hostile moves towards
you? Why would Austria, your game-long ally, support me if I was your
enemy?
Clearly all the evidence points to the fact that I have put my
complete trust in your word. I have now found out that the trust was
misplaced. You alone, of all the powers in the game, have blatantly
broken the CareBear oath. I call upon all powers to punish you.
Very goofy France. Try signing onto the other game now. I'm
not sure the rest of us care about the CareBear oath.
*sigh*
*sigh* to you too...
Attention Yasser Arafat the Aryan:
Turkish fleets moving in position to give you a boat ride home.
McCrae
Adjustments
France: CareBear
Everyone else: GoofyBear
Me: HellBear
-- "Sherman"
GM goofy points for fall 1905:
A2, E2, F1, G1, I0, R1, T0
Austria: Again evil France disallowed your convoy, sigh. Nice attempt
to dislodge the convoying fleet you wanted to use. Read r.g.d
lately, didn't you?
England: You did (half of) your part to convoy that Austrian army.
Of course you should have given the control of A Lvp to Austria,
not to Italy...
France: Again you prevented a nice convoy! Shame on you! But your circle
convoy made me laugh quite a bit. (2 - 1 = 1 point)
Germany: You might get more points again if you indeed to that convoy for
Turkey. You got that one point for recognizing the futility of your
'war' against me.
Italy: Yeah, go and grow a little bit!
Russia: All these folks don't let you do your moves; what a pity!
Turkey: Not convincing this time; maybe next year?
g:2 for continuing with minimal forces
i:2 " " " " "
a:0 " supporting himself (well you lot penalize me for that)
t:2 " looking as if he is about to start something interesting.
e:1 " not really getting in my way
f:0 " getting in everybodies way.
Goofy points:
A: 2 -- Wah, the mean italians took over your homeland!
E: 1
F: 1
G: 1
R: 1
T: 1
>Germany: You might get more points again if you indeed to that convoy for
> Turkey. You got that one point for recognizing the futility of your
> 'war' against me.
Of COURSE I'm going to do the convoy for Turkey!! Turkey, please
remember to order A Norway -> Clyde next turn. It would be a shame
if your assault on England failed because you forgot about it... :)
I heard an offer last turn to convoy Yasser Aryan back to Germany. Is
this still on? If not, I will have no choice but to commence a brutal
assault on the Balkans. The merciless (former-)master-hunting Jeep
"Jackrobert" takes no prisoners....
Goofy votes coming up soonish.
Sincerely,
Austria: 1 point, for leaving open your homeland and taking off
after parts unknown. But then again, you aren't in any
real danger, are you now? :)
England: 2 points... I thought proxying out lvp and then supporting it
to a wide variety of mouth-watering provinces was cute...
France: 2 points... I was entertained. :)
Italy: 1 points... way to chase down those Austrians! I can hear
the bloodhounds yapping at their heels all the way over here
in Syria... *smile*
Russia: 0 points... 1 point for interesting moves of a general sort,
minus one point for not using my army Syria even though I
publicly announced that it would go to you.
Turkey: 1 point in anticipation of the fun next year. :)
hO hum. pretty bOr!ng turn, as far as ! cOuld see. mOst Of these
numbers are !nflated, !nclud!ng the O's, tO make the sum equal 7.
a: O
e: 2
f: 3
g: 1
!: O
r: O
t: 1
ObsOrvOr
The mighty ObsOrvOr gives his goofy points. As usual, he give France
top ranking. Is our unseen guest really France in disguise? Hum?
My brillian defense of the Austrian homelands, which held off
the marauding Italians for years, has failed at last.
And Russia gives me 0 points...
Freddie the Petulant
Goofy votes:
E: 1 Well, you tried to convoy.
F: 1 Convoy Por - Por was good, but I think you should strive for more
mobility.
G: 3 Passing up builds, wandering aimlessly through Syria.
I: 0 Tsk. Tsk. Taking Budapest was unnecessary, and rather annoying
in fact.
R: 1 Around the world in a day.
T: 1 Mr. Convoy is thy name.
F. F.
Here are the results of the French jury.
Italy - 0 points. Did you even bother to read the CareBear oath?
Austria - 0 points. Looking for the Beatles in Liverpool is not
goofy. Try Sevastopol.
Russia - 1 point. For not supporting yourself into the Mid-Atlantic.
Germany - 1 point. For helping Turkey against England.
England - 2 points. The stuff with Liverpool.
Turkey - 3 points. For getting Norway as your 5th center.