Frequently Asked Dead Presidents Questions

Why Haven't You Finished The Tour Yet??

Truth be told, there are two reasons that the final three graves haven't yet been graced by yours truly:

1. My kids are now school-age and I don't have as much time anymore.
2. The site got so popular that I actually was receiving calls from television shows offering to pay for my trips to the sites I haven't yet visited:
   • Italian Public Television was going to fly me to New York City where I'd meet up with their crew and then drive to Buffalo for Fillmore's grave, then drive back to the Big Apple in time to get on their return flight to Italy. That fell through because they didn't realize how long it takes to drive from New York City to Buffalo and they'd miss their flight. They promised next time they're in the States they'd try again.
   • A new national daytime talk show based in Hollywood offered to fly me out there to visit Nixon's grave on one of their first airings. The show wasn't picked up, though, so that fell through at the last minute.
   • The (tabloidesque) TV show "extra" also has issued me a standing offer to pay for my visit to a gravesite. I was about to get on a plane to Texas to see Lyndon Johnson using their money when they called and said that a line producer wanted them to change their offer to pay for me to visit the final gravesite if I gave them exclusive coverage rights (apparently he thought it wasn't a good enough story for TV to show me visiting the third-to-last site).
   Because of this, I sort of decided, heck, if someone else will pay, I'll wait and make these trips with the media!

   Of course, since at least one of these offers, I funded my own way to Andrew Johnson's grave, so maybe I'm not completely stalled waiting, but at least I've slowed down, hoping.

Now if you guys reading this would just call the Letterman and Leno shows and get me on there (where everyone says I should be, but who am I to toot my own horn?), maybe we'd get the tour completed quicker.