Being an Account of my Efforts in D.A.A.N.Z.-Affiliated Diplomacy Tournaments in 1999

By Brandon Clarke

In Pursuit Of The What??

The Bismark Cup is an annual award for the best tournament Diplomacy player of the calendar year in DAANZ affiliated tournaments. Each tournament is scored under it's particular scoring system and players then score points for the Bismark Cup based on their finishing positions in those tournaments. Points are allocated as below for each tournament:
 

                                        Number of boards
                2       3       4       5       6       7       8       9       10
Placing
1st             30      60      70      80      90      100     110     120     130
2nd             23      47      53      60      68      75      83      90      98
3rd             20      42      46      52      59      65      72      78      85
4th             17      37      41      45      51      56      61      66      72
5th             15      32      36      40      44      50      55      60      65
6th             13      29      31      35      39      43      49      54      59
7th             11      24      27      30      34      38      42      48      52
8-10            8       16      18      20      23      25      28      30      33
11-14           5       13      15      17      19      20      22      24      26
15-17                   9       12      14      16      18      19      21      22
18-21                   5       8       11      13      15      17      18      20
22-28                           5       8       10      12      13      14      17
29-35                                   5       8       9       11      12      13
36-42                                           5       8       8       10      11
43-49                                                   5       6       8       9
50-56                                                           5       6       8
57-63                                                                   5       6       
63+                                                                             5

So, that's how the Bismark Cup works. It is the highest award in Australasian tournament Diplomacy each year, and the winner of the Bismark Cup is referred to as the Australasian Champion. When I travelled to my first Australian Diplomacy Tournament in 1997, I didn't know the Bismark Cup existed. Since learning about it, and its significance I had dreamed of winning it. What follows is my account of an extraordinary year chasing that dream.

Leg One: The Australian National Diplomacy Championship, Canberra, A.C.T., Australia, January 23rd-26th.

Christian was busy on the Saturday, and so Will and I went to the Gabba to see Australia play England. We stood on the infamous "Hill". Will wore a Barmy Army T Shirt and cap (the Barmy Army are the English cricket team supporters who generally drink lots, sing loudly, and a quite entertaining). I wore my "I support two teams, New Zealand and anyone playing Australia." T Shirt and a Barmy Army cap. The "Hill" is a grassed slope in front of the scoreboard at the Gabba which tends to be patronised by the unruly section of the crowd. We stood there surrounded by very parochial Australians. Purely in an effort to fit in to the culture of the "Hill" we forced ourselves to drink beer. Quite a lot of it actually.

Just before we got to Australia a scandal had broken concerning two of Australia's leading players having been involved in a scandal several years before in which they allegedly accepted money for providing information to bookmakers on team selections, pitch conditions etc. Not only had their involvement been uncovered, but it appeared that the Australian Cricket Board had been involved in covering up the matter. We had a rather pointed banner on display, which strangely endeared us to the English fans around us... we had instantly made thirty or so Pommie friends when we unfurled our banner:

England started badly, and we absorbed a large amount of abuse from our not too shy Aussie cousins. Australia then completely blew a sand shoe, and England cruised to victory. Strangely, by that time the most boisterous of the Aussie crowd were nowhere to be seen...

The next day Christian had the day off, and he, Will and I first of all patronised a local pub and had an ENORMOUS bbq steak for lunch. Oh, and we drunk some more beer... we were desperately trying to fit in you see... Then it was off to the ground. After consulting with Christian, our expert with the local knowledge, we selected some seats just in front of the bar. And then we had some beer. Will is quite a slight wee figure of a man, and it transpired that when Christian and I finished our first beer Will was only half way through his. We looked at him pointedly, and he sighed, and drained the rest of his beer. I went and got a second round, and once again at the end of it Will was lagging behind. He once again drained his half a cup of beer and made a trip to the bar. In the sweltering heat of the Brisbane afternoon sun the beers just seemed to slip down. The cricket proceeded at a leisurely pace, and the whole world seemed to become a very pleasant place as the afternoon wore on. At the end of each round Will seemed to be slipping further and further behind. After 9 or so beers our tongues were becoming a little large in our mouths, so we switched to bourbon and cokes. Christian returned with three such drinks, handed one to Will, one to me, and Will slammed his empty cup down!!!

Christian and I just stared at each other, and then shrugged, and drained our cups. Will was sent to the bar (all of 20 metres away) but returned empty handed asking "What are we drinking again?". Christian and I just grinned at him, explained slowly that we were drinking B O U R B O N and C O K E S and turned him around and pointed to the bar. Several minutes later Will returned, handed us our cups, and drained his in one easy swallow.

Christian looked at me and said: "I reckon every touring party needs a William in it - You are a soldier William!", raised his cup to Will, and drained it too. Ever since Will has affectionately been known as Soldier William.

(As a side note, the winner of that game is a little hard to recall. I think England beat Sri Lanka in the end, but I'd hate to bet on that.)

Following the Brisbane weekend we flew to Sydney for a game at the S.C.G.. The enduring memory of our visit to Sydney came on the way to the airport to catch our flight to Melbourne. We had stayed with one of the Sydney Diplomacy players, Geoff Kerr. As Geoff was driving us to the airport we stopped for some petrol. We pulled in. Geoff got out. He open the tank and began pumping gas. Another car drove onto the forecourt, executed a 5 point turn in front of us, the driver got out, went in, bought some cigarettes, paid, came out and left. Then a police car pulled up next to us. The cop got out, pumped $60 worth of gas and went in paid for it and left.. by this time Will and I were wondering just how big a tank Geoff's car had... Will looks over to see how much gas we'd pumped and the pump said we'd got $32.45 into the tank!!! To this day Will and I marvel over how someone could pump gas that slowly... with a five minute head start Geoff had managed to pump $32.45 of gas while the cop had pumped $60, paid, left and probably solved three crimes! We decided that Geoff is officially the world's slowest petrol pumper.

We then flew to Melbourne for two more memorable games of cricket. Following that we hooked up with Rob Stephenson and Ken Sproat and drove to Canberra (an 8 hour trip). On this trip, Ken announced his newly formed philosophy for Diplomacy: "Sometimes you just have to sit back,... wait and see what happens,... and let the game come to you." Rob and Will and I will never let Kenny forget that pronouncement. Numerous times during the year that call has come back to haunt Kenny... Later in the year when we were back in Canberra for the Canberra Diplomacy Champs we were at a restaurant waiting for our meals... Ken was getting a little agitated at the delay, and Rob and I leaned over and said "Relax Ken... sometimes you just have to sit back, relax, and let your meal come to you!"...

The Australian National Diplomacy Championships were the most memorable tournament I've ever been to. We played six rounds of Diplomacy over four days, and we partied extremely hard each and every night. Bed by 3 am was a luxury, and many many games of Settlers of Catan and other board games were played long into the night. Beer was drunk as well. Once or twice. But only in small quantities. I promise.

In between the nocturnal activities, I had a particularly good tournament, finishing second overall and taking home Best England and Best Turkey. This was only my second Diplomacy Tournament, and this performance was a marked improvement on my 13th in the Don Challenge Cup in 1997. Returning home with my confidence bolstered I considered the implications of my second place with regards to the Bismark Cup for 1999.

Leg Two: The Waikato Diplomacy Open, Hamilton, New Zealand, February 27th - 28th.

The result was enough for me to win my first tournament, which meant after the first two Diplomacy tournaments of the year I had a First and a Second in the bag and 145 Bismark Cup points. I decided that if I was ever going to win the Bismark Cup, this year was going to be the year. To be a serious contender I needed to play in at least 4 tournaments, as your best 4 tournaments count. There was only one more tournament in New Zealand for the year, the New Zealand Diplomacy Championships in August. At that stage I was actually down as the tournament director, which would have prevented me from playing in the NZDC. I spoke to my friend Grant Torrie, and he agreed to be the TD for the NZDC which would allow me to play. I immediately booked a flight to Melbourne at Easter for the Victorian Diplomacy Championships. A good performance there and I might not need to cross the Tasman again to win the Bismark Cup.

Away from the board the Waikato Diplomacy Open was a booming success. People came from all over New Zealand. The Wellington guys really seemed to be getting the bug, and as it has transpired, their experiences at the Waikato Diplomacy Open sparked their enthusiasm enough to get them to first set up the Wellington Diplomacy Club, and now to begin planning to hold the Wellington Diplomacy Champs in May 2000 - New Zealand's third Diplomacy tournament. In an attempt to raise funds to pay the incorporation fee for the New Zealand Diplomacy Society we sold beers at $2 a can. Records were kept as to how much each person drank, and it appears there could now be an annual award for the best beer consumption. The Great Dalinski won the inaugural title, with an official haul of 34 cans.
The Waikato Open was a very successful expedition for the Auckland Diplomacy Club players. I won the tournament and Best France and Best Italy. Will Black won Best Russia, Grant Torrie Best Germany, Andrew Royle Best Austria an England, and Patrick Brennan Best Turkey.

Leg Three: The Victorian Diplomacy Championships, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, April 2-6.

The first two days of the Victorian Diplomacy Champs went amazingly well, and I found myself in third place after two of the four rounds. With your best three rounds counting I was very favourably placed for a top 5 finish, which was JUST what I needed in my pursuit of the Bismark Cup. Somehow though, and despite what Ron Artigues is thinking as he reads this, it was not due to excessive alcohol consumption, I managed to finish the tournament with two eliminations, finishing 12th in the tournament. *sigh* Oh what could have been!

Nevertheless, the weekend was another fantastic time with some of my best mates. Rob Stephenson, Rohan Keane and I didn't get to bed until after 5 am on the last night. Everyone went back to Rob's place to play board games and watch videos. As the crowd drifted away about 2 am Rob, Rohan and I found ourselves alone on Rob's back deck with the last dozen beers. I still recall Rob describing "Rob Stephenson's Universal Theory On Packing A Beer Fridge". Rob sent Rohan to the fridge to get three more beers. Rohan returned with three beers, and informed us that these were the last three. When we had finished, Rob got up and went to the fridge and got three more beers. Rohan sat there nonplussed.

"Where did you find them?" He asked incredulously.

Rob told him he got them from the fridge, to which Rohan replied "You can't have... there's no beer left in the fridge."

"There is so!" replied Rob, "And I bet you've been drinking warmish beer all night too haven't you?"

Somewhat suspiciously Rohan replied that he had, to which Rob replied his beers had been icy cold all night. Rob then revealed why:

"Basically Rohan, people are lazy. One of the few things you can rely on about people is that they are lazy and will take the path of least resistance. When they go to the fridge to get a beer, if there are six loose bottles and six packaged bottles they will take one of the loose bottles, right?"

Rohan agreed that that was quite likely...

"Well," said Rob, "Knowing that you can drink nice cold beer all night... all you have to do is take a beer from the back of the packaged six pack, and replace it with one of the loose beers, carefully folding up the back of the six pack... as long as you make sure you keep putting loose warm beers in the fridge each time, no one will ever bother to open the six pack - your secret supply of ice cold beers... Here endeth lesson one."

"But...: said Rohan, "That doesn't explain where these three beers came from..."

"Yes it does." Smiled Rob. "People are lazy. That's where these three beers came from." Rob then drained the last of his beer from the bottle, and continued... "If you go back to the fridge you'll find there's 9 more beers in there."

Rohan went back to the fridge and returned empty handed. "There are definitely no beers in that fridge...where's the other fridge mate?"

Rob just smiled, and replied: "Go back to the fridge Rohan. Open the door, bend over until you can see what's at the very back of the bottom shelf where everyone is too lazy to look, and bring us back three icy cold beers..."

Rohan returned with three more beers.

"Here endeth lesson two." Rob announced.

A little later in the evening when the bottom shelf was exhausted, Rohan announced that there were definitely not anymore beers in the fridge this time. Rob got us to both follow him to the fridge. "Are you sure there's no beer in there?" He asked us. By this time it was after 4 am and we were all slightly less than 100% on the ball... Both Rohan and I swore black and blue that there were no more beers in the fridge. The beer we were drinking was Victoria Bitter. It comes in bottles with green labels. In the middle of the top shelf there was a lettuce and a head of broccoli. Rob reached into the fridge and withdrew the last of the beers, which had been sitting there all along in the very centre of the top shelf, completely surrounded by green vegetables.

Opening the last beer Rob smiled and said "Looks like this is the last one... since neither of you want it I think I'll have it." He turned and walked back out to the deck saying: "Here endeth lesson three."

The next morning I flew home to New Zealand, somewhat disappointed I hadn't clinched a top 7 place, but consoling myself with the Best France trophy I had with me. Budget constraints meant I couldn't attend the NSW or Queensland Champs in June and July. Which left me waiting until August for my next fix of tournament Diplomacy.

Leg Four: The New Zealand Diplomacy Championships, Auckland, New Zealand, August 28-29

The number of players present meant the tournament was going to be tied with the Australian National Diplomacy Championships for the biggest tournament of the year, and therefore the one worth the most Bismark Points. The winner of the NZDC would earn 100 Bismark points, and second place would earn 75 Bismark points. Rob Stephenson, Tristan lee, and Bill Brown were not playing in the NZDC, and while I was still leading the Bismark Cup at this stage, if either of Andrew Goff or Craig Sedgwick had a good result and I did poorly the race for the Bismark Cup would be neck and neck... I might even find myself no longer leading.

The NZDC started with the pre tournament dinner, at the venue (The Commerce Club) on the Friday night before the tournament. Four Australians had made the trip across to New Zealand for the tournament. As well as Andrew and Craig, there was Ian van der Werff from Victoria making his first appearance on the tournament scene for two years, and Sean Colman from NSW making his DAANZ tournament debut. Also at the dinner were players from all over New Zealand. The Commerce Club has a motel as part of it's facilities, so many of the out of town players were staying just down the hall from the gaming room. A truly enjoyable Chinese meal and some very nice red wine rounded the evening out. I caught up with good friends I hadn't seen for a few months and many of the new tournament attendees got to put faces to names they'd come to know over the email mailing lists.

Round 1 saw me draw Austria, with last year's Player's Player, Dominick Stephens as Italy. I finished on two SC's, and grimaced with the news that Craig Sedgwick had logged a 14 SC Germany. On the positive Andrew Goff had suffered a loss! That was the big news of round 1 - Russell Barke had scored a solo victory as France. Apparently he had been stopped on 16 SC's. He was mounting 2 strength attacks on Munich and Rome, but both these centres were seemingly untakeable, as Jeremy Lindop (playing Austria, on 14 SC's) had enough uncuttable supports to hold these centres. Time was called, the orders were read out, and there were no Austrian orders in the box. Jeremy was still standing there with his orders in his hand... he'd completely forgotten to lodge orders, was NMR'ed and Russell took Rome and Munich for the 18 centre victory! Jeremy's mistake won him the Great Dalinski FUBAR Memorial Cup - the award for the biggest stuff up of the tournament.

In round 2 I put my challenge back on track with a 15 SC Turkey (Best Turkey) performance in a three way draw with Brian Bull and Evan Natrass.

Unfortunately Craig Sedgwick kept rolling on with a 10 SC Italy, and Andrew Goff came in with a 12 SC France.

That night Craig and I settled in to share a few Wild Turkey and Coke's. These became more and more necessary as the night wore on. New Zealand was playing Australia in the rugby and it would be fair to say that with the possible exception of the four Australians in attendance at the NZDC that EVERYONE in New Zealand expected New Zealand to win that game... they didn't even come close. Australia annihilated us, and our much of our nation crumpled to their knees as if having been dealt a body blow. Sean Colman celebrated by adjourning to the casino. He can count cards you see. And it showed. He won $2000. And he let everyone know.

Sunday dawned, and round 3 loomed. Craig Sedgwick was a real threat and as luck would have it we not only drew the same board, but I was England and he was France. I fought him from the start and with the help of Germany and later Italy reduced him to a fleet in Portugal by the end of the game. I finished on 6 SC's. My result from round two saw me win the Best Turkey prize... as is now traditional at the New Zealand Diplomacy Champs the Best Country awards were mounted Dead Gnomes, with the flag of the country concerned painted on their hats... this was my Best Turkey Gnome:

The result of this meant that the tournament ended with the following top 7:
 

That was a good result for me, as it now left the Bismark Points standings as follows:
 

There were two tournaments left, the A.C.T. Diplomacy Championships in Canberra, and The Don Challenge Cup in Melbourne, Victoria. Russell Barke was unlikely to cross the Tasman for either of those two tournaments due to family commitments. Rob Stephenson, as defending Bismark Cup Champion, highest ranked player in Australasia, and two times winner of The Don Challenge Cup (including last year's tournament) was my main threat. Both Rob and Tristan Lee were so far only counting three tournaments whereas Craig and Andrew were counting four - to increase their scores they would need to drop their 4th best score and replace it with something better. Although I had a comfortable lead the race was by no means won. The final points table from the 1998 Bismark Cup had Rob Stephenson on 223 points, Harry Kolotas on 221, and Rohan Keane on 217, so my 212 points might not be enough... I immediately booked tickets to Canberra for the A.C.T. Champs.

On the Sunday night after the tournament was finished several of us went to dinner at the Angus Steak house. A good meal and a few more beers was a great way for us all to wind down after a tense tournament. Sean Colman entertained us greatly with his comments that New Zealand beer was too flat for him, and that in Australia, home of all things good and true, they had specially designed glasses with little indentations on the bottom of the glass to make the beer fizzier. Well, that showed us Kiwis! All these years we've been drinking flat beer, and all we needed was indentations!

Leg Five: "Canberra Capers" A.C.T. Diplomacy Championships, Canberra, A.C.T., Australia, October 2-3.

After the bridge climb friends of ours took us out to Craig Sedgwick's place, and we set off for Canberra - 3 hours drive south of Sydney. Bevyn, Will, Craig and I arrived safely in Canberra and drove to Andrew Goff's house where we found a good proportion of the Australian hobby were either in place playing board games or about to arrive to play board games. Mrs. Goff had laid out an excellent spread of finger foods and Goffy greeted me with a bottle of Glenmorganie scotch... life was beginning to look very good! Pat Brennan is an Australian friend of mine. In August 1998 Pat and his wife Fleur moved to New Zealand for Patrick's work. He made contact with me having found the New Zealand Diplomacy web page and he and a few of my friends began playing German board games together regularly. By the time Pat returned to Australia in July 1999 he was well on his way to having played 100 different games (a feat he's since achieved in Sydney). Pat and Fleur came to Canberra, and Pat bought a considerable number of games from his collection. He introduced me to Tikal that night, and I've been hooked ever since. Others were playing Settlers of Catan, Age of Rennaisance, Cribbage, 500, Ra and other games. At the height of the evening there would probably have been 30 or so people at Goffy's place. A very enjoyable evening.

The next morning we trundled down to the Canberra R.S.L. for round one of the tournament. I drew Italy alongside Sean Colman's Austria. I just couldn't see an alliance with Sean ending in anything other than him stabbing me as soon as my back was turned, and not fancying never turning my back and stagnating through the midgame I decided to go for his jugular. I opened A VEN - TYR, A ROM - VEN, and after he and Russia bounced in Galicia was faced with the option of a double attack on Trieste or a sneak into Vienna. To Sean's credit he guessed right, and my order A TYR - VIE bounced with his A VIE - TYR... disaster for me, and I spent the rest of the game trying to recover. I finished on 2 SC's, with Sean on 6, each of us united in holding a line against the French. The second round proved more fruitful for me, finishing on 9 SC's, and then it was time to party.

Goffy had booked dinner at a restaurant, and 25 or so of us sat at a long long table and ate drunk, and generally began misbehaving. After dinner it was back to Goffy's for more board games and a few quiet(ish) beers...okay, to tell the truth "quiet(ish)" is probably stretching it... it might even be a blatant lie... I can't really remember it all that clearly. We did end up on Goffy's back porch holding our sides laughing after Rob Stephenson filled his mouth with tomato sauce and then took Craig Sedgwick's cigar cutter and pretended to guillotine his tongue... Ken Sproat became very agitated when he saw the "blood" welling up in Rob's mouth... as we all calmed down, someone commented: "Sometimes Ken, you just have to relax... sit back... and let the tongue come to you!"...

At about 2 am several people disappeared. Notable "pikers" were Rob and Ken, and also Goffy. I went out to the caravan where Rob and Ken were sleeping to find them curled up in their beds. I woke them up and told them I didn't travel 2000 km's and spend $500 for them to pike and go to bed on me at 2 am! "Up! Up!" I cried... "We're going dancin', dancin' we're gonna dance the night away..."It was agreed we would go "Dancin' till the break of dawn!!!!" Then as they hauled themselves out of bed it was off to wake Goffy up. Soon after that we found ourselves in a night club called the Blue Room. We walked in to find Soldier William holding court with FOUR girls hanging off every word he said! Beers were purchased, dancing began... soon Jimmy "The Knife" Bounsall, Beautiful Rohan (not to be confused with the aforementioned Rohan Keane, who is known as Ugly Rohan) and Rob Hadley joined our group - they'd been dancing for a while and seemed to be lacking the spirit we had... which might have been Rum, but could also possibly have been vodka... Rob Stephenson cut a dashing picture in his Blue Hawaiian floral shirt, can of VB in one hand, eyes closed, swerving to and fro across the dance floor. Solider William's Harem proved fun to dance with, although many of us "older" cronies found them a little young to seriously consider chasing. More beers were purchased, and ribald dancing ensued. People drifted away slowly, and at about 4.15 am I finally hit the wall and scuttled off home to Goffy's for some sleep.

I was rudely awoken at 6.20 am when a VERY drunk Rob Stephenson barged into my room, can of VB in hand, and announced "You my friend are a piker! I thought the plan was to go "dancin' till the break of dawn!?" I grumbled something about him being crazy and he was pushed aside by Ken and Arianwen and Ugly Rohan... It became clear that this foursome had indeed gone "Dancin' till the break of dawn!" Rob was distressed that as the sun peeped up over the horizon, he looked around sure to find me still in the vanguard, only to find I'd gone to bed.

Hehehehe. Diplomacy never stops Rob.

A wee sleep of 1 1/2 hours and Rob was hauled from his bed looking very suboptimal. Coffee was absorbed, toast and bacon and things inserted into fundamental orifices, and we staggered to the venue. Not everyone was looking their Sunday best that morning. Rob was having difficulty standing. He then went on to play two positions simultaneously in Round 3 (on two different boards) taking France on one board to 16 (Best France) and Austria on his other board to a very respectable seven SC finish in a four-way draw. The mere mortals amongst us sat there dumbfounded. He truly is the master of Diplomacy. I felt guilty for even presuming I could approach his level of play. I finished on 10 SC's in round 3, enough to see me finish 7th overall. Craig Sedgwick (who went to bed at 1 am) finished 3rd overall, and Rob's 16 as France was enough to take him to 5th overall. Thos results meant the Bismark table looked like this:
 

Furious calculations showed that if Rob Stephenson or Tristan Lee finished 1st or 2nd at the Don in Melbourne in November that they could clinch the Bismark Cup. Craig Sedgwick could not catch me, as his fourth best score was 35 points, and he'd have to drop that... The Don was expected to be a 4 board tournament and so winning it would be worth 70 Bismark Points. That would increase Craig's total by 35 points to 221, 4 points short of my current score. Tristan however would be dropping an 8, so a win at the Don would increase his total by 52 points... The Don was shaping up as a VERY interesting tournament indeed!

The highlight of Canberra for me from a Diplomacy point of view (who could go past the events of Saturday night as THE highlight?) was that I won the Players' Player award. After each game each player submitted a Players' Player Award voting slip... the person you most enjoyed playing with got 3 votes, then someone else got 2, and a third player got 1 vote. You couldn't vote for yourself, so the most votes you could pull from one game was 18... apparently in round 3 I did just that... all six of my opponents, including Geoff Kerr who's England I heartlessly absorbed as France, all voted for me... That trophy has pride of place on my mantelpiece. Being able to play, play well, and have all my opponents say they enjoyed playing with me the most is the most precious prize I've ever got in Diplomacy.

That night we went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant and ate far too much pizza. As is the norm at Australasian tournaments we all wound down and discussed the tournament. Beautiful Rohan (Flavelle) had won his first tournament ever after a number of years trying. Rohan is one of the nicest guys on the tournament scene downunder and everyone seemed genuinely happy to have seen him take away a tournament win. Goffy was congratulated on organising a very successful tournament. Two years earlier there was no ACT Championships at all, so a 4 board tournament was seen as great progress. It is expected to grow again to 5 or 6 boards next year.

The next morning Craig, Bevyn, Will and I returned to Sydney as we had a flight back to New Zealand to catch.

Leg Six: The Don Challenge Cup, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, November 27-28

This one was the most important Diplomacy tournament of my life. It was for ALL the marbles. This time four Kiwis made the trip across the Tasman... with me were my girlfriend Melissa "Pox" Nicholson (at the time the top ranked player in New Zealand), Will Black was there again, and another of the many women who have begun playing in New Zealand, Kazel Law, was making the trip too. Kazel was playing in her first Diplomacy Tournament, and had learned to play only in the last two months. She'd played three warm up press games, playing Turkey each time, and had also played Austria in a NoPress game.

Kazel and William flew over on the Wednesday before the tournament, and spent a couple of days shopping and sightseeing. They were staying with Tristan Lee. Rob Stephenson and Craig Sedgwick met Pox and I at the airport, and Rob immediately asked about Melissa's nickname "Pox"... We explained that we had been playing Diplomacy one day and I had been France while she was playing Turkey. We only had six players, so were playing with Italy controlled by "Will Vary". Will Vary is an imaginary player who plays Italy for us in New Zealand when we only have six players... everyone writes orders for their own country, and also for Italy. Then before the turn is resolved a counter is draw out of a cup to see whose Italy orders will be used for that season. Both Melissa and I were doing very well, the two biggest powers on the board in fact, when on a crucial turn she got control of the Italian pieces and moved them in a particularly anti-French way. I was a little distressed by this and said: " A pox upon you Nicholson! A Pox upon you, and your children, and your children's children!" Ever since then everyone in the New Zealand hobby has called her Pox. Some of them don't even know her real name is Melissa!

Rob said: "Jeez Brandon...I can't call her "Pox"! That's a terrible nickname!" However less than 3 minutes later he was saying "So Pox..."

We drove into Melbourne and found the Motel that Craig had booked for us. We had a large apartment style suite which Pox, myself, Rob, Craig and Ken Sproat were sharing. It was around midday, and Ken was still working, so Craig, Rob, Pox and I went ten pin bowling. The less said about that the better... the Australians won convincingly, *grumble mumble grumble stamp!*. We then went into the city and found a cafe on Lygon Street, heart of Melbourne's Italian Restaurant zone, and ate Pizza and drank some wine... Rob had a couple of VB's... Will, Kazel and Tristan met up with us and after a very pleasant couple of hours in the afternoon sun we headed off to the venue for the tournament where a pre tournament dinner was being held. This was an excellent chance for Pox and Kazel to get to know the Australians before the tournament, and a chance for Will and I to renew old friendships. A very good turnout for the dinner included some members of the hobby who would not actually be attending the tournament due to work and family commitments, but who came along anyway to catch up with everyone.

After dinner a considerable number of those present retired to our apartment and board games started up and a few beers mysteriously appeared... as did a bottle of Scotch, two and half bottles of Wild Turkey, several bottles of Vodka and some Gin. Hmmmm... we're not really piss heads... honest. Games were played late into the night and a few of us got a little tipsy.

Next morning I awoke to find Goffy sprawled on the couch, and Ugly Rohan's feet poking out from under a curtain. Goffy emerged from his slumber, and Pox and I took him down the road in search of a cafe for breakfast. We left Rohan behind the curtain. After coffee on the sidewalk we went around the corner to the venue and settled in. I had a quick read of the tournament rules and fidgeted like you do before a tournament. Everyone slowly arrived and then round 1 was underway. I drew France, and Frank Meerbach had England. Kazel was on my board, and when we went to draw countries she got offered the box first, but the person holding the box was holding it so that she could see the counters in the box. She pointed this out, and he tilted the box slightly so she could no longer see, but didn't swish the pieces around in the box. She looked at me, shrugged, and reached into the box and pulled Turkey! How incredible. I laughed and she shrugged and whispered to me... "Oh well... if he's not going to even try and make it random I might as well take the country I know best, right?" I agree wholeheartedly with her.

Frank is a very capable player, and he and I allied from the start and swept the board before us until we were on 11 SC's each at which point Frank stabbed me and the biggest controversy the Australasian hobby has seen for some time began in earnest. When Frank stabbed, I didn't fight back. I continued to hold the line against the Eastern powers while Frank gobbled me up from behind and cruised to an 18 centre victory. Frank scored maximum points from the game and everyone else on the board, including me scored zero. People all over the room were abuzz. "Brandon threw his game to Frank, and Frank soloed!" Kazel played very well as Turkey and was on 7 SC's when Frank soloed. This earned her zero points, but her debut tournament game had earned her a lot of respect from the Australians.

My reasoning was that it didn't matter how well I did in the tournament. I was here for one reason and one reason only, to win the Bismark Cup. I'd spent too much time, effort and money to be thwarted now, and come hell or high water I was going to win the Bismark Cup. To win it I could do one of two things: try and win the Don myself (or any other result in which I finished higher than both Rob Stephenson and Tristan Lee); or I could just make sure that neither of them finished in the top two... making sure someone OTHER than them won the Don was an excellent way to prevent them doing so... Helping Frank to a solo victory in round 1 made it MUCH more difficult for either of them to finish ahead of Frank.

My tactics were extremely controversial. Craig Sedgwick, a close friend as well as a great adversary across the board was extremely pissed off with me. I drew Turkey in round 2 on Craig's board.. he was Germany. He just glared at me, and when I asked him if we could talk he simply said "No." I asked, "What, now, or ever?" and without looking at me he said "Ever." A few minutes later I asked him: "Ever in this game, or ever at all, even after this game?" He looked at me and said "I'm not sure..."

In round two Goffy was on Rob Stephenson's board. They decided that Goffy would throw his game to Rob "to teach me a lesson". Rob soloed, and in so doing, put himself above Frank in the tournament, effectively cancelling out the advantage I'd created for myself in the first round. That night more board games were played, including a Gunboat NoPress game where Rob Stephenson was the GM. It was a light hearted affair, with a fair degree of cheating and revealing of which country we were playing. I got ejected from the game for breaching gunboat, as did several others. More scotch was drunk, and the evening rollicked on from one game to the next.

Craig Sedgwick was very upset about the events of round 1 and 2, so much so that he refused to play in Round 3. Round 3 was VERY interesting. While all the events of round 1 and 2 had been going on Will Black had been quietly going about his business of building a very strong tournament performance. In 1905 I went over and looked at his board. France was on 10 SC's and swarming into Scandinavia and Germany. He just looked at me and said "I'm France." and grinned. I was stunned... if Will pressed on a score of 13 or 14 could win him the tournament, and would definitely put him above Rob Stephenson if Rob scored next to nothing. This was very interesting, as Goffy and Rob Stephenson were both on my board...

I had drawn Germany, and Rob was Austria, Goffy Turkey, and Pox England. Bill Brown was Russia, and Rob Hadley was Italy. Jimmy "The Knife" Bounsall was France. I knew, Rob knew and Bill knew that this was not your ordinary game of Diplomacy. The Bismark Cup would be decided on this board. It was me or Rob. Each of us eyeballing each other across the board... across the Tyrolia - Bohemia gap. I strongly suspected that the openings would see

A WAR - SIL
A VIE - BOH
A VEN - TYR

in an attempt, led by Rob Stephenson, to eliminate me quickly. I negotiated A PAR - BUR and opened A MUN - BOH. This bounced Rob's move to Bohemia and sure enough there were Russian and Italian armies in Silesia and Tyrolia respectively. This obvious attack on me allowed me to galvanise France and England into a Western Triple by arguing that if they didn't help me Munich and Berlin would fall quite quickly... and once they fell there would be little chance of getting them back. The game progressed and Pox and I attacked Bill's Russia and whittled him down. Then we stabbed France and took Jimmy "the knife" out. All this time I was planning. If I could get Goffy to solo, Rob would score zero points, allowing Will to win the tournament and Goffy to finish second... that would win me the Bismark Cup. The problem was, despite the fact that she was my girlfriend, I KNEW that Pox would not approve of my method and would fight to prevent it if she got wind of my plans. I spent a lot of time lying to her to make her believe that if Goffy finished on 17 that would be enough to see him finish above Rob Stephenson in the tournament and thus allow me to win the Bismark Cup... in actual fact 17 would leave Goffy just behind Rob, even if Rob was eliminated in this game... for me to win the Bismark Goffy had to solo.

I kept talking to Goffy about this, and he seemed keen one moment, and uninterested the next. I later found out this was because part of the agreement between Goffy and Rob in Round two was that Goffy would be helping Rob to win the Bismark Cup instead of me. I convinced Goffy that his solo would win him The Don, even though I knew it would only place him second... Goffy was unaware that Will Black was doing as well as he was, so with the glory of winning The Don in his sights Goffy agreed, and I supported him into his 18th centre. Pandemonium erupted. "Brandon has thrown ANOTHER game!!!" People flocked to our board from all over the room to see if it was true.

While all this had been going on Kazel had recorded a 7 in round 2 and a 9 in round 3, not bad for her first tournament (remember she had a 7 in round 1, but which counted as a zero due to Frank soloing). At the prize giving she won best novice, and finished 11th out of 31 players. Her 7 in round one, had it scored would have put her around about 7th... a "top board" performance on debut, in a foreign country where she knew virtually none of the other players... not a bad effort at all for someone who had only been playing two months!

The placings were read out in reverse order. My two losses and an elimination meant I finished last. As the Tournament Director got to the top five the excitement rose...

David Currell, 5th ... 83.76 points

Frank Meerbach, 4th ... 100.35 points

Rob Stephenson, 3rd ... 103.57 points

Rob went and collected his trophy for third place, and I relaxed in the satisfaction that I had achieved my ambition... the Bismark Cup was mine!!!

Andrew Goff, 2nd ... 111.11 points

Goffy was momentarily stunned... he thought he'd won the tournament...

And the winner of the 1999 Don Challenge Cup, Will Black!

Will was just about ready to burst! He leapt out of his seat and ran up to John Cain the tournament director and nearly bowled him over in his excitement... his face was split by the biggest smile I've ever seen on it as he held The Don Challenge Cup aloft... people cried out "Speech! Speech!" but all Will could say is "I'm speechless!"

A huge round of applause followed, and I sat there incredibly proud of Will. In January, on the plane on the way back from the Australian National Championships (Will's first Australian tournament) Will had been rather depressed. Over six rounds he'd had a 7 SC and 5 eliminations, and was questioning his future in tournament Diplomacy. I told him not to give up, that results would come. I said it's hard work playing overseas for the first time - everyone else knows each other and how each other plays, and you don't know one player from the next... you're at a big disadvantage. To see him come through at the end of the year and become the first player from either Australia or New Zealand to cross the Tasman and win a tournament on enemy soil was incredibly rewarding. Part of me felt like the proud father whose child has just achieved something magnificent... In 1997 there was no hobby in New Zealand. I've built it up from nothing and now players from that hobby were travelling internationally and winning tournaments. I felt very very contented that afternoon.

The aftermath.

And then pandemonium struck. Traffic on OZDIP-L the DAANZ email mailing list has never been so high. Lots of emotion flowed in the days following the Don. John Cain, Tournament Director at The Don issued the following statement with the official results:

People questioned the ethics of playing the Bismark Cup system instead of playing the game at hand. Hundreds of emails filled OZDIP-L for weeks afterwards: Here is a brief cross section of the views expressed:

John Cain Wrote:

Many players expressed outrage at Brandon's play. One player very prominent player was so disgusted he refused to play in the third round. At the end of the tournament also I heard two players say they will never bother coming to a Diplomacy tournament again. I hope Brandon (who I regard as a friend) will forgive me if I say that I think his conduct was unsporting. Not only did he take out players (Rob, Tristan) for reasons that were external to the tournament, but he also set up other players (Frank, Andrew) for excellent placings (potentially to win the tournament) for reasons external to the tournament. I felt that Brandon's actions made a travesty of the Don tournament. However, Diplomacy after all is not a game that encourages sporting or honourable conduct. Certainly nothing that Brandon did was against the rules as they stand. But Brandon's play certainly took "MegaDiplomacy" to a new level.

What I am certain will come out of all this is a revised system for scoring the Bismark Cup. The current system, where only the best four results are counted, certainly provides an incentive for "negative" play once a player
has four halfway decent results.

Hi John

As Tournament Director I feel the tournament I ran was tainted by these actions. Frankly, I was embarassed.

Just wondering if you considered throwing him out of the tournament after the first round under rule 20:

---
20.0 Tournament Director's Reserve Powers (optional)

      20.1 The Tournament Director may rule in areas not covered by these rules, and may over-rule these rules if doing so is necessary for the good of the tournament in the opinion of the Tournament Director.
---

DQ-ing him is probably what I would have done.  And my reason would have been the potential damage caused to the hobby.  I'm very glad I didn't spend the $500 plus to go down, as I was considering.

I could make some comments about the win-at-all-costs attitude too, but it's been a lean year across the ditch and I guess any win is a welcome one.

Cheers,
Christian Kelly

I was gonna wait 2 days to let the passion subside first..... but no can do......

For the last 10 yrs (?) the hobby has hailed the Bismark Cup as the ultimate honour in tournament Diplomacy. The system has been explained in all Dip zines and now the website. Who won in which year; how to score; its purpose and aim. We always get a running score-board during the year from Bill Brown. It's always talked about - "who might win it this year". We encourage people to aim for it.

There were never serious disputes over how the Bismark should be scored. This year it was clear who the contenders were, most experienced players know how the scoring works. And we all know that Brandon has played hard all year with the aim of getting the Bismark.

So Brandon has now won it - his tactic has upset some people. I say we should forget about the blood-letting over the weekend and allow Brandon to enjoy the glory of having won the Bismark Cup. He played hard, played well
through the year - and that's what the Cup aims to reward.

If we don't like it, perhaps it's time to rethink the Bismark scoring. But no good giving the winner a hard time because he chose to do something unconventional.

I of course did not like Brandon's tactics, and agree that throwing wins are not the aim/spirit of the game. But that's not the only point. The tournament is a collection of games, and the Bismark a collection of tournaments.  The hobby has asked players to come first in a collection of tournaments, not in 1 tournament or 1 game. Brandon legitimately won in the fight over the collection of tournaments.

If you buy an expensive trophy, honour it with hobby blood and ask people to fight over it, you'd have to expect someone will do what they can to win it. It involves doing well and/or stopping others. Usually it requires both;
this time Brandon did only the latter.

*************************
I suggest we should do 3 positive things.
1.  Have a serious re-think about the structure of the Bismark.  It's long overdue (regardless of last weekend), and especially given the additional NZ events.
2.  Congratulate Brandon for having had a brilliant year and forget about the controversy of the weekend.
3.  Talk about Canberra in Jan'99.
*************************

John Cain wrote:

I suggest we count all tournaments, but divide points by the number of tournaments played plus one, minimum divisor four (i.e. at least three tournaments). A "linear" style points system for placings at tournaments helps here too.

Here's my proposed BISMARK CUP SCORING SYSTEM.

                       Total of "Points Earned"
Bismark Cup Score  =   ----------------------------------
                       No. of tournaments played plus one
 

                     Actual number of players beaten
"Points Earned"  =   ---------------------------------    * 100
(per tourney)        FTPE number of players in tourney

On the Lighter Side

"I only wish Geoffrey Kerr would just shut up." - Tristan Lee

"The Prussia's Building" - Andrew Goff (commenting on the Kiwi accent of yours truly and the way I say "pressure," which sounds like Prussia apparently (to the Australian ear). Goffy made this comment as armies converged on Munich, Tyrolia, Bohemia, Galicia, Silesia, Warsaw, Livonia and fleets moved into The Baltic and Berlin, leaving Prussia completely surrounded, and yet still unoccupied!)

"We're just going to bed" - Pox

"I'll see your fart and raise you a belch" - Brandon Clarke (By the way, this was not said in answer to Pox's comment above...)

"C'mon Ken, wake up or I'll tickle you" - Jimmy Bounsall (What! Ken asleep???)

"I'm going to go and sleep with Craig" - Ken Sproat

"..and seeex is better than seven, eh?" - Kazel Law

"If only I knew how to play the game" - Kazel - best novice and 11th place in her debut tournament...

"I even moved the mat....." - Rob Stephenson at a petrol station on the way from Bendigo to Melbourne Friday morning with me following. We had reached speeds of 160km/h on a straight stretch. Apparently after a comment I made the previous evening Rob wanted to see what the old Falcon could do - and with the mat moved aside to allow maximum pedal-push he still only got 160k's out of the old heap!!!!!!

And now, on the last day of 1999 I'd like to thank a few people for helping make this the best year of my life so far.

Firstly, and most importantly to Pox, thank you for everything you've given me. Thrilled as I am by everything else that has happened to me in 1999 I'd trade it all away in an instant to hold on to what I've found with you.

Thanks to Will for travelling with me and being such a good mate. Thanks to Rob Stephenson for being my mentor and coach and teaching me not only that I could do it, but for showing me where my style lapsed from what it could have been and reminding me what it's really all about. Thanks to Ken and Craig and Bill and Jason and both Rohans and all my other mates in the Australian hobby for welcoming me into your clique and teaching me about how it works so I could build something similar in New Zealand. Thanks to Grant Torrie, Andrew Royle, Peter Taylor, Craig Purcell, Jerre Morris, Jimmy Millington and Rob Schone, David Graham and Dominck Stephens for their help in building the New Zealand hobby, and for their friendship.

Thank yous are also owed to Manus Hand and David Norman in particular for all their advice and help. Thanks also to Manus and Ron Artigues for their efforts to keep me amused and positive during those times when I was feeling down... your friendships are very important to me.

So, that's the end of a chapter that started way back in January and has culminated in me winning the Bismark Cup. What's next? Well there's several DAANZ players planning trips to Baltimore in August 2000 for WDC. As well as competing in WDC we also intend to present a bid to hold WDC2002 in Canberra. I hope that bid is successful, and if it is I hope as many of you as possible can make the trip to Canberra and put some faces to the names I've talked about, and participate personally in future articles I wrote review the ribald and bawdy events of Diplomacy Tournaments Downunder.

In case the above has whetted your appetite and you feel the need to come and play and party with us before 2002, there's all the information you need on the DAANZ website, including a full calendar of all the tournaments scheduled for 2000.

Brandon Clarke ([email protected])

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